Building trust in self is one of the biggest hurdles and longest of lessons we may encounter when on the spiritual awakening path. Typically, the lessons include: trusting the body/heart, which increases trust in self which, in turn, increases trust in our God/Source and trust in our path of ascension. This is most likely a ‘two steps forward and one step back’ process.
Trust in self should be inherent from the moment of birth but it isn’t for many. When there is trust between the ego or personality and the physical body, feedback to the brain about the world and relationships has a high level of accuracy and flow is optimal.
Additionally, when functioning optimally, the body, its nervous system and energy channels, can be utilized and calibrated to give us accurate information about all sorts of things in our world when programmed as a binary system – YES or NO or TRUE or FALSE – operating much like a lie-detector machine. If there are blocks in trust between any of the systems, parts or aspects of mind-subconscious mind-body-soul, the feedback can become compromised and we begin to mistrust our decision making capabilities.
How Trust in the Body Starts
Recently, I had the pleasure of witnessing an incredibly sweet moment. It was ordinary in a way, yet extraordinary in the context of this topic, as it involved a visual example of the tenderness required when developing trust. While I was waiting for my order in a local coffee shop a young slender woman stood in front of me holding her little girl on her hip. The child was approximately 20 months old and held onto her mother, the way young children do, with their arms around mom’s neck and upper shoulders. The little one peered at me with her big brown eyes, her chin tucked into the flesh of her mother’s neck with complete and total trust. The mother lovingly rubbed her child’s back. It was evident that there was a trusting mother-child bond being cultivated.
When Trust Breaks Down
Conversely and equally poignant, I witnessed another young girl of about 5 walking with her mother and 2 siblings while hiking on a local rail trail. The little girl was walking several feet away from her mother. Her arms were folded across her chest defiantly, her forehead was all scrunched up and her lips were pressed together in an angry frown. Mom appeared somewhat disconnected from the scene and gave the casual observer the sense she didn’t know how to handle this child. This was a clear case of a lack of trust – in that moment, at least – between parent and child. If this little girl experiences too many of those moments she may develop a lack of trust in several areas – her caregivers, her own inner judgement or signals her body sends her, and perhaps the world in general.
If we don’t learn how to be safe in the body from the very beginning we may find that we have a challenging time with physical coordination, learning, relationships, or rewarding work. For those of us who developed healthy foundational trust, life’s challenges are negotiated with less complication. If we fall, we pick ourselves back up and keep on learning to walk, we get stronger and learn how to navigate many of life’s obstacles successfully.
Then something happens. Moments in life when the body lets us down, when others harm us, or others let us down… get stuck in our programming or steer us in a different direction perhaps, with a little less confidence or doubt that our body can handle life’s issues. Little by little these issues erode the levels of trust or faith we have in ourselves. Illnesses or injuries cause a weakening in our carefree attitude of our previously ‘taken-for- granted trust’ in our body. This can happen when someone receives a negative health diagnosis or steps on the scale, and for some it happens when they look in the mirror.
This lack of trust has far-reaching consequences. If we can’t trust the only vehicle we have for getting us through trouble areas in life, then every decision becomes painful and each perception is questioned with some doubt.
Building the Bridge to Inner Trust
“The Body is the Machine.” Judith Swack, HBLU
So, if the body is the machine and our data output becomes compromised, we cannot thrive. We may misinterpret external and internal signals making life feel inherently challenging, perhaps even unsafe.
Just like a machine or an engine we need to understand a few of its working parts. In addition, there are a few things that can gum up the flow of trust and truth through your body’s nervous system and meridian channels:
- Missed Developmental Stages
- Blocking Parental Messaging or Other External Messages
- Violence received or given
- Birth Phobias or Phobias in general
- Grudges from Traumas
- Illnesses and/or grudges developed against the body due to a perceived lack or flaw
- Past Life carry overs
- Physical Injury traumas to the brain/nervous system
- Prolonged stress or worry
- Chemicals, toxins, viruses, bacteria, strong EMFs
Trust and Harmony Between All of Our Parts
Ideally we thrive on harmony or coherence among all aspects of ourselves. In other words, that means trust from the body to the mind/ego; from the mind/ego to the body; from the soul/spirit to the body and conversely the body needs to trust the soul/spirit which very often includes a trust in God or Source. If there is a block anywhere the system, as a whole, has a glitch. Luckily, we can function fairly well with glitches on various aspects.
- Q: How do we know if our glitches are causing problems?
- A: Just like a car or engine, we will begin to notice that things in our life are not functioning optimally.
- If our self talk is very negative
- If we mistreat our body
- If we feel that we aren’t enough…strong, smart, sexy, healthy, pretty, handsome, likeable
- Any time we feel frustration with ourselves
- We have a grudge against ourselves or others – our body will develop a grudge against the self if we engage in unsafe behavior or treat it poorly
- Q: Can we heal these parts and get them to reconnect?
- A: Yes, in my work with clients, I use an eclectic combination of methods which includes targeting or setting a goal to fix something that isn’t working. Intention is very important. We identify all of the contributing faulty or traumatic parts, lovingly and compassionately witness these parts and hurt feelings,
- We decide which method, of many, that will help the nervous system and brain to repattern itself and clear all energetic imprints and associations.
- This allows for reintegration of fragments, soul aspects, nervous system and brain healing and reintegration, opening new pathways to new behavior and new experiences.
- Q: Can I heal myself?
- A: Yes, to a certain degree.
- Your intention will serve you well. If you cultivate a strong inner neutral witness and approach your own healing with an objective point of view and a sense of curiosity, you can clear much.
- Yoga, meditation, biofeedback, and other systems which help to bring focus and awareness to the body and particularly the mind-body-spirit junctures or lightbody will be the most effective.
- It is not a linear journey and sometimes you may need the objective heart of a good listener to help you see your blindspots.
Mistrust on any level creates separations or disconnected parts. If we indulge or permission the disconnected parts we may cause more harm. We need to parent the disconnected parts by listening, applying self-compassion and then inviting the parts to reintegrate into the adult self.
To heal these pockets of conflict where the programming within the self that is experiencing (or has experienced) a dysfunctional and entangled relationship to life, we must be kind, be persistent, and accept who we are. This action is an invitation to that aspect to return to Source, to let go and remember oneness…” Sequoia Arayas
“You now remember that you are an extension of Source Energy and that you have come into your physical body, into this Leading-Edge time-space-reality, for the purpose of joyously taking thought beyond that which it has been before. . . .you have a guidance system within you that helps you to know, in every moment, how much of your connection to that which is your Source you are right now allowing.” Esther Hicks, Ask and It is Given
Learning How to Inhabit and Experience Your Body and Its Sensations
The following quotes are from a book, The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. – I would recommend this book to those of you recovering from a significant trauma or troubling childhood or adult life.
- “We have also begun to understand how overwhelming experience affects our innermost sensations and our relationship to our physical reality–the core of who we are. We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place some time in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on the mind, brain and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present.”
- “People who feel safe in their bodies can begin to translate the memories that previously overwhelmed them into experiences.”
Recently it was Veteran’s Day. Featured in the news were segments about our beloved vets and, in particular, those that were wounded in service to our country. These segments focused on housing and support projects to help those who lost limbs and sustained other intense physical body traumas. The programs were set up to provide healing, housing and anything else these folks needed in order to merge back into their lives in a meaningful manner.
For these folks, their entire healing journey is about rebuilding trust with their physical bodies, their environment and the world in general. With time and the right care their bodies’ viscera and nervous systems begin to feel safe, the traumatic memories begin to let go and surface to be healed and then finally released.
The body is learning to trust the ego and its choices, and is learning to be okay with sensations and stimuli as the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems balance and merge. Any freeze response from the initial trauma can be cued to re-engage and come back to life. Shock, fear and any other trapped emotions can be freed.
Rebuilding that trust between all body parts, the conscious mind and ego is not a linear process. It’s an organic dance of unwinding, releasing, re-learning and reclaiming of soul/energy parts.
Trust in one’s body is proportionate to the level of joy one is able to experience. It also eases challenges, minimizes the effects of traumatic moments and lessens the amount of drama. It allows for empathy with healthy boundaries and deeper levels of compassion.
Did You Know Your Body is an Untapped Resource for Truth and Discernment? However, . . .
It is virtually impossible to get truth from your body if you are fundamentally lacking trust in your own structure. One of the most detrimental blocks to the deepest healing and your inner most Truth is lack of trust in your body. The goal those of us who are awakening is to discover our divine strengths and intrinsic knowledge through our own unique body gnosis – wisdom gained through lifetimes of experience.
Learning to trust, or rebuilding trust in the physical body, and the information gleaned through the physical body appears to be the biggest hurdle for most awakening souls. I’ve had clients tell me that learning to trust their body was a really huge ‘ask’. In fact, it takes a number of sessions before someone’s energy field or central channel is open and healed enough to get consistently straight answers. And, all we are looking for is the clarity from questions requiring a YES or NO answer.
Programming Your Body to Give YES and NO Answers
Imagine what it would be like if you had complete trust in your body or your self.
Is there a short cut to calibrating the body to ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers?
Yes and No. 🙂
Seems simple enough, right? We ask a question and inquire from the body whether it’s true via self-muscle testing. The question goes down into the body and via observational skills, our nervous system signals the body with its version of YES or its version of NO. What can go wrong?
Lots! The body requires flow and accurate communication from cell to cell, and cells to all body parts in order for the highest level of ‘muscle testing’ veracity. Like I mention a number of times above, the more clear flow, the more accurate our answers. It takes time and patience and the willingness to be ever discerning of ourselves and the world in which we find ourselves. In many cases the learning curve can take from several months to a few years in order to develop deep trust and open communication pathways with our bodies. Practicing the art of loving kindness and right action will get us there the fastest.
True inner guidance will never direct us to self harm or harm others and it is really always kind even in the face of a hard truth.
My dear friends, as always, take the parts that resonate with you and let the rest go. The journey to self-trust is a one-step-at-a-time, one-day-at-a-time, on-going adventure.
Be safe and walk with peace in your heart,
Infinite love,
Kaye
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