How can we move forward when we’re stuck in core-deep resistance or attachment to a certain outcome?
Earlier today I met a vibrant, quite wealthy, older man who spends his retirement days traveling the world with his one and only wife of a zillion years. He tells me, within the first 10 minutes of meeting, that he and his wife love each other more each day. He actually said, “more than today and less than tomorrow.” He beams and tells me they have four children, all happy, and a dozen or so grandchildren. They travel the world as a family, co-mingle work relationships, and go to all their grandchildren’s events. That’s a close family!
After he drove off in his silver Porsche, I walked back into my home thinking, what a charming man, when suddenly I felt tears of frustration. “That’s what my life was supposed to be like,” I thought. My strong emotional response took me completely by surprise—well, kinda.
I must admit that despite the years of yoga, meditation, healing workshops, etc, I can still be the queen of resistance. You’d think I’d get it by now, be able to let go and allow the thing I’m resisting to just pass through. Heck, I read Michael Singer’s book The Untethered Soulwhen it first came out more than 15 years ago. I’ve been meditating for 3 decades.
The thoughts, “Why did I have to go through divorce? Why did my life fall apart when my youngest left for college? Why? Why?” Suddenly I felt like a victim and began the blame narrative. I thought I had worked through all of this. I said to myself, “Okay, Kaye get a grip, what would I tell my clients and students?”
So, I sat myself down to explore this further. I set my intention to integrate the brief experience and proceeded through my mental list:
Witness—Observe myself with compassion and curiosity.
Breathe.
Ground—Feel my feet, the space in my head, around my heart.
Notice—Where in my body am I feeling resistance, the trapped emotion/idea or turbulence?
Allow and Expand.
A few minutes later, feeling renewed, I took a walk in nature, folded some laundry, and cleaned the sink. I forgot all about it until I sat down to write this post. That’s when the answer came to me. If I had lived a life like the millionaire’s, I would not have grown, I would not have saved rainforest in Costa Rica, owned a yoga studio, failed, had my heart broken, picked myself up to explore new things. Now, I spend my days uplifting people and writing.
Honestly, the idea of a life like my visitor’s feels too tethering and, in a weird way, too easy. Ha, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, there are days when I’d trade challenges for ‘too easy’ but I now live with the soul-felt, bone-deep satisfaction of living my soul’s highest expression in this life.
Like the poem, I took the path less traveled and it has made all the difference (thank you Mr. Frost). This is a life well-lived. I’m in the process of embodying — spirit into physical flesh — and raising my consciousness, one day at a time. What a journey I’ve had. I experience a priceless sense of richness worth more than my ego’s old idea of a ‘dream life.’ That’s my idea of wealth. My unique path is something which continues to excite and inspire me every day.
“…I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.” by Robert Frost
Thank you for reading!
Peace in your heart.
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