Is Ascension about getting everything perfect?
Seems lately (this was a draft from a few years ago) I have been preoccupied with finding out who I am. But, who I am is not a simple thing. I am not always kind, not always wise, not always right, not always thoughtful or considerate or compassionate. I am filled with purpose until I’m not, which happens more frequently than I’d like. I’m lazy and tired more than I am industrious and inspired these days.
When I was young I felt I was destined for greatness. When I was a little older, success lay just around the corner. Now, in my 40’s my life is spent avoiding failure, dodging the bullets of life, and attempting to keep up with the growing pile of snail mail – which now needs a chipper instead of the shredder.
Oddly enough, though, I feel more real, more grounded and available to people. I’m also happier.
In the movie Michael, John Travolta plays the Arch Angel Michael who smokes, heaps spoonfuls of sugar onto his cereal, and chews with his mouth open. Everyone loves this mess of a guy and his antics bring people together.
So maybe life is about making joyful messes — like when we are baking cookies. In the process we spill little islands of flour and sugar all over the counter. Ignoring the mess we grab for the glass of milk which leaves a perfect white ring and groan with delight when we take the long anticipated bite. We don’t even mind when the warm melted chocolate sticks to our lip.
Maybe it takes a little mess to get to the joy, the yummy warm center of life. Children have the most fun when they are making a mess and grumble when asked to clean anything.
Okay, maybe I am only making excuses for the two baskets of unfolded laundry sitting in the middle of my family room, the half eaten bowl of granola, and the coffee spoon with a drying little brown puddle in its center resting on the sofa table.
After all the workshops, bodywork, yoga classes, meditations, mantras, and soul-searching, I think life is about NOT getting it right, it’s about enjoying all of it, especially the messes. How strange.
Drum Roll, Ta Da: A mess with a smile and a belly laugh is a great time; and, a mess with a frown is a problem. Could it be just that simple?
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